Sweet Relief

Posted: May 20, 2016 in Blogs, Uncategorized

Someone very learned recently told me, and a roomful of others, that one of the most powerful emotions is relief and that this is true for both man and beast. I had never really thought about it before but if someone had asked me I would probably have said it was anger. Thinking about it some more, anger probably is the release that is the relief and their interlinked nature is quite obvious. Analysing it further, as this brain of mine has a tendency to do, on a daily basis we set about finding relief from various situations that make us uncomfortable. I don’t mean that we are all in a constant battle against pain and suffering more that is natural for us to alleviate ourselves, in many ways, some more healthier than others. Some physical, some emotional and some that we have paired together.

This here blog is exactly what I speak of; it’s three in the morning and I can’t sleep. I don’t think it’s because I’m pondering relief either! I write this though, because it eases the pain of what is keeping me up at three am – which is another totally different blog. This is my relief. I remember a story my mum told me about when I was little; I may have confused some detail but in essence something in the house made a startling loud noise. In my five-year-old terror I physically reached out for something to console and comfort me. What I found relief in was my shoe abandoned on the floor amongst a scattering of toys. I think we laughed about how very odd it was that I didn’t seek human comfort, but then I am a Pisces and we do love our shoes!

Right now I have a sore throat that feels like I’ve swallowed a siege of razor blades. After suffering a cold and then a second infection and losing my voice over two weeks ago I still haven’t managed to shift a constant sore throat, that is now worsening by the day. I’ve just eaten five throat sweets in this my quest for relief and I’m moaning about it on here – something that by sharing I feel will help me! Also, tonsillitis has quite recently been in the offing at work, maybe that’s what I have…the thought provides me with some immediate relief from worry. Anyway, you get the picture, life is one big pacifying quest.

On the home page of my website I quite boldly state that I am a compulsive eater, which I suppose could be thought of as a strange way to define oneself. The main reason I say it is because for more years than I care to remember the secrecy of the thing held so much power over me. Now as I’m sure any addict will tell you, merely admitting you have a problem does not simply make it go away. That admittance, the acceptance of self, is the beginning though, the beginning of relief. Ironically stuffing my face of literally anything I can find (and yes I’m including flour or stuff I’ve thrown away in the bin to stop me eating it!) is the relief I provided myself from emotions I simply couldn’t deal with.

People do it with all sorts of things, we all have our crutch. More commonly in my circles it’s alcohol. I’ve never really had much success with alcohol, many of my friends lay claim to this confidence building wonder drug that leads to hilarity and deepened connection with people. When I was 18 it just highlighted everything I hated about myself and made me more and more miserable. I’m not in the habit of hating myself these days but I still don’t get the drinking thing. Then of course there’s drugs, gambling, sex, exercise – the list goes on in a never-ending fashion. Whichever behaviour it is; it becomes a habit when we learn it makes us feel good and we reach out for that thing.

I have always wanted to be more accepting of my emotions, have more of a handle on life and generally be a bit more stable in the face of hard times. Do people really exist that can feel anger, jealousy, anxiety and fear and just feel it, without seeking some external relief? Without eating, without gossiping, without withdrawing and without shouting! I’d like to be one of those people that just accept ‘ah, that’s anger’ and sit with it. In the meantime, I’m all for acting boldly today, to change things that no longer make me happy.

Next time I am so thirsty that a swimming pool amount of water would struggle to quench my thirst, I’m going to really enjoy it. I invite you to really relish the next time you wake up when you really need the toilet, but it’s so comfy and warm in bed! Just enjoy it, because everyone needs a bit of relief.



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